This week, thus far, has involved a lot of Bam interaction.
On Monday I was on my way to sign up with an admin agency when a Glasgow Bam stopped me in the street to comment on a ‘lovely’ flower I had in my hair. Due to my lack of sleep the previous evening and job-based anxiety I’d completely forgotten about said flower. What followed was my look of fear and general confusion as a man outside a Wetherspoons in Glasgow’s city centre excitedly reached out as if to touch my head.
I then went down to Borders and checked out the ‘sale’ they’re currently having. I bought myself a ‘Teach Yourself…Stand-Up!’ book and whilst at the counter the somewhat jovial fellow at the till asked me if I was a comedian. I chortled and replied ‘not quite…’ before deciding it was DEFINITELY a good idea to ask him if he’d picked up any ‘How to…’ books for his imminent unemployment. I turned Jovial Boy into Glum Dude.
On Tuesday I spent the whole day in my house documenting my own slow demise.
On Wednesday I fared slightly better, telling a stranger he still had a ‘Large’ sticker attached to his joggies and engaging in generic Christmas banter with a shop employee.
On the train home I shared some worried glances with my fellow passengers as some crazed Bam behind me stopped his hysterical laughter for long enough to shout: ‘HUMAN BEINGS? Motherf***ers; I’ll kill youse all!’. Lovely.
Day 8 I did not depress anybody (although joggies/sticker man may have felt slightly embarrassed.)
